Enough

I’ve lost track of the times

I’ve run away to an empty room

Bathroom stalls will almost always do

To cry and let go the overwhelm

The stress I can’t put to words

the weight of a world I was never built to carry

But that day was different

After years of running I was tired

Collapsed

Famished 

a desperate deer in the desert of my own poor choices 

in need of You 

& suddenly

For the first time ever

satisfied

Your love was sufficient 

So how did I end up here

11 years later 

Struggling again

feeling like I

don’t deserve your love

or all the benefits of the

abundant life You promise

That maybe after years of trying 

If I withhold my love from you

I’ll get what I want

But it’s not working either

I’m sorry I’ve

stopped showing up 

I’m tired of trying 

but I’ll show up again 

Because I’ve 

Worked hard

enough

Been through 

enough 

And yet believe the lie that

Your love is not 

enough

for needs that seem deeper than the ocean

(Your love is deeper than the ocean)

“His love can save me from hell” my darkest thoughts echo,

“But not from the hardship of this life.”

And if so, then what’s the point?

When days feel like I’m buying time

I don’t know how to pull out of this 

To enjoy that life is broken and beautiful 

working harder than I ever have

with less rest than I’ve ever had

burned out

worn out 

but You say “come to Me

weary

you who are weary”

With every burden

“and I will give you rest”

Come to Me

Come to Me 

My daughter. 

You’re still mine and I’m still yours. 

After all these years

as I echo though Your last words on the cross

“It is finished”

“Tetelestai”

Goal achieved

Daughter redeemed

thinking about outstretched arms

the only perfect Man to ever be 

hanging there

for me

saying “enough”

“Set her free”

Your love is all I need

enough